College Life: The Series, Part 1

It has been decided via Instagram poll that I am going to write a college shenanigans series. This will basically encompass the time I was at school and the 6ish months I lived there after I graduated. Before I dive deep into freshman year and all the nonsense I got into, I believe I need to give a little backstory on myself and my relationship status coming right out of high school first. This is going to be a long multiple part series that I hope you thoroughly enjoy. So, without further adieux, my college years…

High school romance, a time when you are convinced you have met the love of your life and that everything will be just like in the movies. Reality is so much more boring typically, or at least less sappy. I was introduced to my high school sweetheart through a mutual friend. It was all butterflies and sweet nothings at first, we wrote love notes and were convinced that we would one day get married and have babies and that would be that. It didn’t work out that way. We were young and foolish, and he was a senior while I was a sophomore. When he went off to college (a mere 30 mins away) things kind of fell apart. This isn’t where I explain where everything went wrong, this is not the post for that, but it is important to know that this boy was my first love. We were on again off again for 4 years. I clung to that love throughout those four years like I was convinced that I would never find love again and that is the point of me giving this back story. I was scared to let him go but I didn’t truly want to be completely his anymore. My attention was easily shifted from him to someone new, but I never wanted to cheat on him, so we broke up. Then, I would feel guilty and miss him and we would get back together, and so continued the dreadful cycle of me leading this poor boy on until the end of my freshman year of college.

He was the first and (to my knowledge) the only person I broke. I broke his heart every few months for the better part of a year until I’m fairly certain I shattered it completely by doing the one thing I had promised (and then forgotten I had promised) not to do. But let’s back up a minute here, I was 18 years old, I was four hours away from home, I had all this new freedom and I wanted to experience everything. I wanted to get drunk and go to parties and make out with boys. I wanted to flirt and dance and go wild. But I also wanted the comfort and security of my old life. I wanted someone that I KNEW loved me. I didn’t want to risk not being able to find someone that loved me as much as he did. Being out in the “world” for the first time is scary. It was the furthest I had ever been from home without my family. I was homesick, my roommate was a bitch, and my best friend, who I went there with, was just as hot and cold about our friendship as I was about my relationship. Every other week one of us was mad at the other for something one of us did and we would fight and not talk for a week and then we would make up and everything would go back to normal. Honestly, I think it was a ploy to separate me from the group of friends we were forming in her dorm building. The one guy she had a crush on had a thing for me and I for him and I think it made her jealous. She told me he said all this stuff about me behind my back but when I confronted him about it, he had no idea what I was talking about. Either way a wedge was driven into our friendship till our sophomore year when it finally broke us apart but more about that later.

Back to the matter at hand, the aforementioned college boy and I had a back-and-forth thing for quite a while, but he knew about the situation with my high school sweetheart, and we never went much further than a few drunken make out sessions. It was a shame, but I suppose it was never meant to be. Anyway, the year progressed in much the same manner until the sororities started recruiting. It was my best friend’s main goal to be in a sorority and I wanted literally nothing to do with it. I was convinced by one of the members (who just so happened to be the CA on my best friend’s floor) convinced me to go to this lunch thing with her. It was just a small meeting to meet some of the girls in the sorority, no big deal. I went and thus started my fall into sorority life. For reasons I’m not going to get into here, I felt like I was meant to join this sorority. I thought I had finally found my people and I was happy to be there. That lasted all of 3 months. Firstly, I’m pretty sure my bestie resented me for joining the same sorority as her plus there was a ton of hidden drama in this sorority that I would get caught up in, namely a boy, that someone else wanted, but who wanted me. This boy would lead to several negative consequences in my life, the first and worst of which (at the time) would be me losing my high school sweetheart. It was with this boy that I did the thing I had forgotten I promised I wouldn’t do. You may be thinking “was it worth it?? 😜” the answer is no.. no, it wasn’t. I broke someone for the worst night of sex in my entire life. And to top it all off, it ended up causing some more bad blood between me and my bestie (we were both texting him over the summer…), not to mention the hatred of one of the biggest bitches in our sorority. But that was then end of the year. I had spent it partying and flirting and making out just like I wanted, while also ruining someone’s life and gradually losing my best friend.

So, there you have it dear readers. My first year of college summed up in approximately 1,000 words. I was a whole mess, completely selfish and only worried about me and then guilty when I realized the hurt I was causing others. Not the best freshman year but an entertaining one to be sure.

With all the light and love,

Alyse

P.S. if you have any questions or any parts of this that you would like to hear more about, please leave a comment or send me a DM on Instagram. The information for that should be on my homepage. Thanks for reading!